Packets of Light

These are little packets of light & you need to plant them early in the year & remember to mark where they were because lots of times they look like weeds in the beginning & it's not until later that you see how beautiful they really are.
~www.storypeople.com


This is Sunset Beach, the beach where we had dinner on my birthday. It is a very nice, relaxing place. This island is so beautiful but it is not full of great beaches for sunbathing and that sort of thing. I say that because yesterday before Carnival, LaTonzia, Kim, and I, went to the beach at Sister's. I felt like I was assaulted because the waves were so strong. I was wiped out three times by the waves and it is not supposed to be like that on the Caribbean Sea.

Kim and I did have some good food today. We, well Kim, made a make-shift Key Lime Pie. We took condensed milk, cream cheese, sugar, and real lime juice, mixed it, and poured it over Graham Cracker Crunch Cereal. It was good....it had a pudding like consistency, which I really enjoy.

Anyways, back to studying. I need to review glycolysis and physiology. I have by the way learned the TCA cycle of whic I am quite proud....Talk to you guys later.

“You've got to dance like nobody's watching and love like it's never going to hurt.”

The pictures above do not begin to describe the craziness of Carnival that LaTonzia, Kim and I experienced tonight. The amazing thing was....LaTonzia drug us out into the street and had Kim and me dancing. Yeah, I know that scary for those of you who know my dancing abilities. So I just barely moved....barely. Anyways, it was crazy. Dancing and alcohol and costumes everywhere. It was quite an experience.

The child must know that he is a miracle, that since the beginning of the world there hasn't been, and until the end of the world there will not be, another child like him.”
Pablo Casals

If you can not determine the picture to the left, it is a baby in the mother's placenta. Some of you may find this inappropriate, but to be honest, I don't care because I deem it life's greatest miracle. This part of what I am stuyding today and wanted to share this with you. I am studying the placenta. However, I have learned that a baby's heart beats full of its own blood 35 days after conception....35 Days. Some women do not even know they are pregnant, and there is a heart beat. I find embryology to be one of the most fascinating subjects I have been studying. Definitely hard but amazing, I find it makes me more intrigued about having my own children in the future. It has made me realize the resilience of such a tiny little thing. I also find it quite amazing that approximately 50% of pregnancies spontaneously abort (the medical term for miscarriage or losing the baby before you know you are pregnant). This is nature's way of the protecting the baby from itself. How so? Well, it shed some light on miscarriage for me. So if you have had one, it most likely not your fault. Nature does this most often if there are chromosomal abnormalities or mutations that can cause problems in the child. So, in essence, it is nature's method of protecting it's miracle.

Anyways, I found that too be quite interesting and worthy of sharing. I may post later, but I am off to study. My list of "Things to Do Today" include: Clean my room, Placenta reading, Neurotransmitter mapping, Anatomy practice questions, Histology practice questions, read Dr. Yin's packets, reread physiology packet, study TCA and glycolysis, and I am sure much more. Have a good day.

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No Words
I read once that the ancient Egyptians had fifty words for sand & the Eskimos had a hundred words for snow. I wish I had a thousand words for love, but all that comes to mind is the way you move against me while you sleep & there are no words for that. ~www.storypeople.com

I miss my husband very much today. I know, I know, it will all be worth it, and it will. However, I just really miss him. Just laughing with him and hearing him sing and spending lazy Sundays with him. I miss the way he would lay his hand on my hip at nightwhile he slept and how he would get mad at Wendy's in Athens and our apartment gate and the people who park in handicap spots. I miss everything about him except how he would get the sink wet when he shaves and the way he would never shut the shower curtain after a shower. I know I did annoying things too....like being messy and just saying okay instead of goodbye on the phone. I know now that I have taken him for granted in the past (like I have many more people), and that is, quite possibly, why I miss him so much now.

I guess it is started tonight when I was listening to his game. At halftime, the announcers said that JT Henderson wanted to tell his wife Natalie (me...) Happy Birthday and Hello. They said I was in med school in the West Indies and that I had just turned 23. They said they knew I would be listening because JT said I always listen....And, like always, I was. They said Hello from JT and that he loves me. I guess that is what is making me miss him so much.

My friend Kim is bringing over some food from Tomato's so hopefully it will cheer me up.

"Put that ice back your 2 million dollar a year hand!" Grey's Anatomy, episode "Yesterday"

JT told me I should use this quote since it is now applicable due to my smashed and swollen finger. I happen to agree with him. My finger does, however, feel better, though it is stiff in typing and writing.

The pictures above are from my birthday dinner tonight. My friends, Joyce, LaTonzia, and Kim (in that order in the picture above), went to Sunset Beach for dinner. I am so glad they went.....And, as you see, I got to eat real red meat, a STEAK....It was not great but it was so exciting to eat a steak. The chef also made a Bernaise-like sauce for the steak. We had a few drinks, and I had flan with caramel sauce for dessert, which was fabulous. And they turned off all of the lights and sang to me with a candle stuck in my flan. My friend LaTonzia had a bit too much to drink, but it was a great time....Now I just have to buckle down and study till my next exam.

Thank you to all of those who called, emailed, posted on facebook and my website. I really appreciate it. Oh, and watch my husband on ESPN tomorrow against South Carolina.

“Maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had, and what you've learned from them, and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.”


February 22, 1983

That is the day, twenty three years ago, I was born. Tomorrow I will be twenty three years old. It really does stink being away from my family and friends on my birthday. We, me and several friends, are going to get dinner tomorrow night. I thought this was a very beautiful cake.

I smashed my middle finger between the concrete door frame and the steel door of the anatomy lab. It hurts so badly, not too mention it is swollen. I was told it may be black tomorrow. That will be lovely. Happy Birthday to me, aye!

Anyways, I will let you know how my birthday goes!

“Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.”

Is this not the coolest thing in the world? It is in Dubai, which is a Middle Eastern country. Dubai is in one of the richest countries of the world, and one of my classmate's father is a businessman there. I just think it is so cools. I wanted to share this....

I got a package today from Melinda. I was so excited....it had some good food. I really appreciate it with my birthday coming up.

I got a good phone call today...I spoke to my friend Cassandra. SHE IS GETTING MARRIED!!!! I am happy for her...they have set the date as August 3rd of this year. It was so great to talk to her....I have not talked to her in long while. It was great......

“Sometimes I lie awake at night, and ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'”
Charles M. Schulz

Carnival is this coming weekend in Dominica. It should be a really fun time. The locals are very excited. I was invited to go the Queen Show, which is the national beauty pageant, with my local friend Nalissa. She works at the bank and helped me my debit card problems. I am not sure if I will go but I really appreciated the invitation...One of the other girls, Nigel, that works at the bank is actually in the pageant. You should check it out at www.dominica.dm.

I just wanted post a small note today. Hope you have a good week.

“It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else's eyes.”
Sally Field

So.....maybe you all can enlighten me. I am hanging out with my friend Shruti....my internet was not working and I wanted to listen to JT's game. She said that it was fine for me to listen to her. It is nice to hang out with other people, especially since because my interent does not work, neither does my phone. Anyways...So her neighbor, whom I have only met once, told her I was 'cold.' I am cold because I do not speak everytime I pass her on campus....Am I am a cold person? Maybe, huh. They told Shruti I was mean to her (mean to Shruti) because I told her she should not throw her cigarettes into the grass at her apartment and that she better be careful skipping too much or she would get behind. I guess when I joke straight-faced or give it to someone honestly they do not understand. So now, the other girl refers to me as Snowball because I am 'cold'. Shruti said that she is full of drama not to worry about it and that she, Shruti, was not offended. I should not let people like her bother me, but somehow I do. It makes me evaluate who I am. Am I cold? I don't intend to be if I am. Here is my thing.....why do we as people think so much about other people and what they do wrong?.....Then we wonder why no one understands what we are going through. If we just gave everyone a chance....we do not know what other people are going through so maybe I should say hello to that girl, but maybe that girl has no idea what my life is like and I do not know about hers....Anyways, it is an inner debate. I just had to get it out there.

“The only thing that will stop you from fulfilling your dreams is you.”
Tom Bradley quotes

This is my dream house, all three floors of it. I know, I am crazy, but looking at things like this and Grey's Anatomy and pictures on my walls of people from home remind me of why I am doing this. I just really love this house and someday hope to give myself and my future family something like it. I know it is a bit extravagent....however, it never hurt anyone to dream.

Well I better go study. My next test will be here before I know it.

Four hundred years ago, another well-known English guy had an opinion about being alone. John Donne. He thought we were never alone. Of course, it was fancier when he said it. "No man is an island entire unto himself." Boil down that island talk, and he just meant that all anyone needs is someone to step in and let us know we're not alone. ~Meredith Grey, Grey's Anatomy

I know that these are just actors, but this is where I want to be someday....a doctor. I am on my way; However, at times, it seems like I will never get there. Everyday is hard work. Lots of work. At least on Sundays I take a break to watch Grey's Anatomy....which for those of you who don't know, is the name of the Gross Anatomy textbook used in medical schools....Have a good one.

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

1 Corinthians 13:4-13


Today is Valentine's Day....I really miss JT.

Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any one thing.
Abraham Lincoln

Just wanted to note something ironic. Today is Abraham Lincoln's birthday and the birthday of Susan Brown, the mother of Rachel Brown. Rachel is a girl with whom I went to school and did not always get along. Why do I remember her mother's birthday and our country's 16th President's? Who really knows....However, I will forget many many facts and concepts that I will need for tomorrow's exam. Just wanted to present this extreme irony for possible feedback....
later....

ROSS UNIVERSITY SCHOOL OF MEDICINE

SEMESTER 1, MINI 1

TOP TEN LIST

1. Why is everything a packet? Do we go to packet school or medical school?
2. Studying in the library is equivalent to Grand Central Station; You can't study in Classroom Five because it is colder than the cadaver ice-box.
3. What exactly is cAMP and what does it do?
4. Is the word "capillaries" pronounced "CAP-illaries" or "caPILLaries"?
5. All I needed to know about my mentrual cycle I learned from gossip in grade school, not Dr. Rajdeo Kalliecharan.
6. Do you think my future patients will care that I know that when phosphatidylserine is on the outer leaflet of the plasma membrane it serves as an 'eat-me' signal and thus undergoes apoptosis?
7. I have learned that despite the craze and praise for women to have a career first and babies later.....the rate of Down Syndrome is 1/350 for women at 35, 1/100 at 40 and 1/25 at 45....
8. Guess what else I have learned.....Marijuana is addictive and dangerous....who knew? Ask Dr. Sharma, he will agree with me but let's see how long it takes the general population to accept this.
9. The Shacks cause indigestion, diarrhea, constipation, acid reflux, and other unpleasantries. Unless you want to turn in your exam early to run to the bathroom, which more than likely do not have toilet paper or paper towels eat at the Shacks after the Mini.
10. Should I have just skipped class and watched the videos like everyone else? We will see.

Everywhere's a small town she said, if you do something that bothers enough people. from storypeople.com

The picture is of my hometown and a very small town at that....Stanford, KY. I took this when I was home at Christmas. My sister and I were driving through. Actually at night, which I did not get a picture of, Main St looked like a small run-way with all of the streetlights. I say street lights like it is a real city. However, town was great for me at the time I was there. I do not know now if I will ever live there again but I do know I have made many great memories there.

My first exam is Monday so I am studying like crazy today and tomorrow. I just wanted to take a break and say hello. I know that all of you at home are getting snow....and for whatever reason, no one is sending me pictures...

JT is flying to Louisville tomorrow morning. They are having a surprise 90th birthday for his grandma. He is really excited.....I am jealous though because he will get to see my baby, Asia...Maybe he will send me some pictures I can post on here. Anyway...I need to study more...

Bones of Light
I remember we sat in the swing on the front porch & as the dusk came on us like a song, dark throated & sweet, he told me about the beginning when we had bones of light & hair that burned like the sun & I asked what happened then? & I felt him floating there in the soft dark & finally he said we forgot & I said I never would, but sometimes I do & I understand now why he put his arm around me & said nothing more.
from storypeople.com

These are my husband's shoes. I found it comical that he would take a picture of this. However, if you know him, it does not surprise you. I miss him very much but having instant messenger and vonage helps a lot.

I have not been updating because my first exam is Monday. It could go either way, good or bad. However, I am studying hard. If it is bad, you won't here from me for a while. Yet, if it is good the world will know..... Have a great and cold weekend. I will be hot for you.

"There are things you do because they feel right & they may make no sense & they may make no money & it may be the real reason we are here: to love each other & to eat each other's cooking & say it was good." -from www.storypeople.com

The sunset picture is taken from the balcony of a building on campus. It is the only two story building on campus with a great view. The other picture may resemble the running of the bulls, but this would mean the cattle have anorexia nervosa. I passed the bulls on the way to class last week and thought it quite funny. I wanted to share the picture.

Sorry that it has been a while since I have posted. Things have been really hectic and in turn, I get really tired. My first exam is the 13th of February. I am very nervous, but hope my studying pays off. I have had classes in Gross Anatomy, Physiology, Embryology, Histology, Biochemistry, Cell Biology, and Doctor-Patient Society. A & P won't be on this exam but everything else will. I have been learning some very interesting things, especially in Embryo and Histo. Anatomy is interesting as well. The others are just okay.

I went shopping in Roseau today. I got about $75.00 USD worth of groceries and other items. I got cheese and crackers and soup and veggies....I also got colorful rugs to help cheer me up....Psychologists say certain colors cheer you up...We can only see. I also got fresh bread which is great. In the market, I bought the best juice I have ever had. Fresh squeezed banana and orange....yummy.

Today is Mamma's birthday. She is JT's grandma and she is 90 today..I can only hope to live that long. My sister will be 21 tomorrow; my Grandma Morris has a birthday on the 9th. My friend Morgan has one on the 13th, Jonathan on the 16th, my brother in law, Daniel, on the 19th, and I am on the 22nd. It is a busy b-day month for my friends and family, to say the least..

JT has a game tonight so I must go listen and of course, study.