“Sometimes I lie awake at night, and ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'”
Charles M. Schulz

Carnival is this coming weekend in Dominica. It should be a really fun time. The locals are very excited. I was invited to go the Queen Show, which is the national beauty pageant, with my local friend Nalissa. She works at the bank and helped me my debit card problems. I am not sure if I will go but I really appreciated the invitation...One of the other girls, Nigel, that works at the bank is actually in the pageant. You should check it out at www.dominica.dm.

I just wanted post a small note today. Hope you have a good week.

“It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else's eyes.”
Sally Field

So.....maybe you all can enlighten me. I am hanging out with my friend Shruti....my internet was not working and I wanted to listen to JT's game. She said that it was fine for me to listen to her. It is nice to hang out with other people, especially since because my interent does not work, neither does my phone. Anyways...So her neighbor, whom I have only met once, told her I was 'cold.' I am cold because I do not speak everytime I pass her on campus....Am I am a cold person? Maybe, huh. They told Shruti I was mean to her (mean to Shruti) because I told her she should not throw her cigarettes into the grass at her apartment and that she better be careful skipping too much or she would get behind. I guess when I joke straight-faced or give it to someone honestly they do not understand. So now, the other girl refers to me as Snowball because I am 'cold'. Shruti said that she is full of drama not to worry about it and that she, Shruti, was not offended. I should not let people like her bother me, but somehow I do. It makes me evaluate who I am. Am I cold? I don't intend to be if I am. Here is my thing.....why do we as people think so much about other people and what they do wrong?.....Then we wonder why no one understands what we are going through. If we just gave everyone a chance....we do not know what other people are going through so maybe I should say hello to that girl, but maybe that girl has no idea what my life is like and I do not know about hers....Anyways, it is an inner debate. I just had to get it out there.

“The only thing that will stop you from fulfilling your dreams is you.”
Tom Bradley quotes

This is my dream house, all three floors of it. I know, I am crazy, but looking at things like this and Grey's Anatomy and pictures on my walls of people from home remind me of why I am doing this. I just really love this house and someday hope to give myself and my future family something like it. I know it is a bit extravagent....however, it never hurt anyone to dream.

Well I better go study. My next test will be here before I know it.

Four hundred years ago, another well-known English guy had an opinion about being alone. John Donne. He thought we were never alone. Of course, it was fancier when he said it. "No man is an island entire unto himself." Boil down that island talk, and he just meant that all anyone needs is someone to step in and let us know we're not alone. ~Meredith Grey, Grey's Anatomy

I know that these are just actors, but this is where I want to be someday....a doctor. I am on my way; However, at times, it seems like I will never get there. Everyday is hard work. Lots of work. At least on Sundays I take a break to watch Grey's Anatomy....which for those of you who don't know, is the name of the Gross Anatomy textbook used in medical schools....Have a good one.

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

1 Corinthians 13:4-13


Today is Valentine's Day....I really miss JT.

Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any one thing.
Abraham Lincoln

Just wanted to note something ironic. Today is Abraham Lincoln's birthday and the birthday of Susan Brown, the mother of Rachel Brown. Rachel is a girl with whom I went to school and did not always get along. Why do I remember her mother's birthday and our country's 16th President's? Who really knows....However, I will forget many many facts and concepts that I will need for tomorrow's exam. Just wanted to present this extreme irony for possible feedback....
later....

ROSS UNIVERSITY SCHOOL OF MEDICINE

SEMESTER 1, MINI 1

TOP TEN LIST

1. Why is everything a packet? Do we go to packet school or medical school?
2. Studying in the library is equivalent to Grand Central Station; You can't study in Classroom Five because it is colder than the cadaver ice-box.
3. What exactly is cAMP and what does it do?
4. Is the word "capillaries" pronounced "CAP-illaries" or "caPILLaries"?
5. All I needed to know about my mentrual cycle I learned from gossip in grade school, not Dr. Rajdeo Kalliecharan.
6. Do you think my future patients will care that I know that when phosphatidylserine is on the outer leaflet of the plasma membrane it serves as an 'eat-me' signal and thus undergoes apoptosis?
7. I have learned that despite the craze and praise for women to have a career first and babies later.....the rate of Down Syndrome is 1/350 for women at 35, 1/100 at 40 and 1/25 at 45....
8. Guess what else I have learned.....Marijuana is addictive and dangerous....who knew? Ask Dr. Sharma, he will agree with me but let's see how long it takes the general population to accept this.
9. The Shacks cause indigestion, diarrhea, constipation, acid reflux, and other unpleasantries. Unless you want to turn in your exam early to run to the bathroom, which more than likely do not have toilet paper or paper towels eat at the Shacks after the Mini.
10. Should I have just skipped class and watched the videos like everyone else? We will see.

Everywhere's a small town she said, if you do something that bothers enough people. from storypeople.com

The picture is of my hometown and a very small town at that....Stanford, KY. I took this when I was home at Christmas. My sister and I were driving through. Actually at night, which I did not get a picture of, Main St looked like a small run-way with all of the streetlights. I say street lights like it is a real city. However, town was great for me at the time I was there. I do not know now if I will ever live there again but I do know I have made many great memories there.

My first exam is Monday so I am studying like crazy today and tomorrow. I just wanted to take a break and say hello. I know that all of you at home are getting snow....and for whatever reason, no one is sending me pictures...

JT is flying to Louisville tomorrow morning. They are having a surprise 90th birthday for his grandma. He is really excited.....I am jealous though because he will get to see my baby, Asia...Maybe he will send me some pictures I can post on here. Anyway...I need to study more...

Bones of Light
I remember we sat in the swing on the front porch & as the dusk came on us like a song, dark throated & sweet, he told me about the beginning when we had bones of light & hair that burned like the sun & I asked what happened then? & I felt him floating there in the soft dark & finally he said we forgot & I said I never would, but sometimes I do & I understand now why he put his arm around me & said nothing more.
from storypeople.com

These are my husband's shoes. I found it comical that he would take a picture of this. However, if you know him, it does not surprise you. I miss him very much but having instant messenger and vonage helps a lot.

I have not been updating because my first exam is Monday. It could go either way, good or bad. However, I am studying hard. If it is bad, you won't here from me for a while. Yet, if it is good the world will know..... Have a great and cold weekend. I will be hot for you.

"There are things you do because they feel right & they may make no sense & they may make no money & it may be the real reason we are here: to love each other & to eat each other's cooking & say it was good." -from www.storypeople.com

The sunset picture is taken from the balcony of a building on campus. It is the only two story building on campus with a great view. The other picture may resemble the running of the bulls, but this would mean the cattle have anorexia nervosa. I passed the bulls on the way to class last week and thought it quite funny. I wanted to share the picture.

Sorry that it has been a while since I have posted. Things have been really hectic and in turn, I get really tired. My first exam is the 13th of February. I am very nervous, but hope my studying pays off. I have had classes in Gross Anatomy, Physiology, Embryology, Histology, Biochemistry, Cell Biology, and Doctor-Patient Society. A & P won't be on this exam but everything else will. I have been learning some very interesting things, especially in Embryo and Histo. Anatomy is interesting as well. The others are just okay.

I went shopping in Roseau today. I got about $75.00 USD worth of groceries and other items. I got cheese and crackers and soup and veggies....I also got colorful rugs to help cheer me up....Psychologists say certain colors cheer you up...We can only see. I also got fresh bread which is great. In the market, I bought the best juice I have ever had. Fresh squeezed banana and orange....yummy.

Today is Mamma's birthday. She is JT's grandma and she is 90 today..I can only hope to live that long. My sister will be 21 tomorrow; my Grandma Morris has a birthday on the 9th. My friend Morgan has one on the 13th, Jonathan on the 16th, my brother in law, Daniel, on the 19th, and I am on the 22nd. It is a busy b-day month for my friends and family, to say the least..

JT has a game tonight so I must go listen and of course, study.